Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Getting Over Disappointments

April 10, 2007

 Disappointments happen to all of us. No matter where we are, who we are or what vocation we are involved in, disappointments are bound to happen sooner or later.Even in the closest of relationships, including family, friends or associates, disappointments do happen.  For many people, when they face disappointments from people, their common reaction is to withdraw from other people around them. They take the issue or event very hard, and avoid other people. They seem to want to take out the anger of their negative experiences on other people. For a long time, such people remain out of touch, withdraw into their shell, throw pity parties and just remain incommunicado.Others keep the memories of the hurts for so long that it keeps on hurting them again and again. The best way to handle disappointments, when they come is to first of all avoid the source. Don’t hang around in the same place where the event or person that caused the hurt in the first case has a large presence.Staying on there will keep on reminding you of the event, and cause you much pain and grief.The best way to be detached in such a case is to remove yourself far from the source of the disappointment. You might need to relocate to another place, avoid contact with the person or place or you might have to change a few things around you so that you don’t have to focus on the negative development. You might need to change your circle of friends. The point is that certain things have to change in your life in the immediate, after you have experienced a case of disappointment. Secondly, you need to get some one you can trust to talk to about your experience. This could be a trusted friend, a counselor, a minister or mentor. You need someone on whose shoulders you can cry. You need someone whom you can bare out your mind to, without any fear or shame.You don’t need a critical person, who is going to criticize you at that moment when you are low. You need someone who will allow you to cry, express your frustrations and emotions without condemning you either in words or actions. Don’t be ashamed to pour out your mind to this person. It helps to really talk when you are faced with an experience like this. Talking it out is part of your healing process and will help you to get over the disappointing experience faster.

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